In the first two blogs, I discussed ways to resolve custody matters between you and your spouse.
In the first blog, I explored the idea of the two of you sitting down and trying to work things out yourselves. Once you have worked out custody, you should write down all your child related agreements as specifically as possible. You should then take your written document to a divorce lawyer who can memorialize your terms into a formal, comprehensive, legally binding agreement for the two of you to sign.
In the second blog, I considered the idea of the two of you seeking the guidance of a professional child psychologist or co-parent counselor. This type of counseling forces parents to focus on by far the most important aspect of divorce-the mental health and well being of your children. It forces you and your spouse to try to get along and work together and for the sake of your kids. Remember the two of you will have to deal with each other for a long time, long after your kids graduate from high school. There will be graduations, weddings, grandchildren's birth, baptisms, grandchildren's marriages and graduations, and other family events that the two of you (and perhaps your new spouses) will have to attend together and act civilly. You may have to deal with adult children's problems. The better you can get along, the better for your family.
An important point--when you and your spouse engage in these conversations-either with each other or with a counselor-make sure you have a lawyer in place so that during these conversations or between conversations, you can meet with or talk to your lawyer to debrief him or her on what was discussed and to get legal advice before decisions are reached.
Another important point in general and always---never sign any document until and unless your lawyer has thoroughly reviewed and discussed any potential agreements with you.