Oftentimes, one spouse may want to get divorced immediately but the other spouse has no desire to get divorced. Let’s say you are the spouse who wants an immediate divorce. Your spouse does not want to get divorced for whatever reasons. One reason may be that he/she has medical conditions and wants to remain on the other spouse’s health insurance policy for as long as possible and not have to pay for his/her own health insurance. This can be dealt with by addressing the insurance needs of the party and finding the best policy available.
How do you deal, in general, with your spouse who does not want to get divorced. If you have grounds for divorce, you can file for divorce. If you have been separated for a year, you can file for divorce. If you do not have either of these, then you can in writing suggest the names of mediators. Give your spouse the names of a few of the best mediators along with their phone numbers. Suggest that he or she call the mediators to determine which one he or she likes and set up a mediation meeting, If your spouse refuses your entreaties to mediate, you can explain that if you have to go to court to resolve your marriage, the fact that your spouse refused mediation and forced a divorce trial will make him or her look bad before the Judge on the issue of reimbursement for attorney’s fees and costs. Judges much prefer the parties mediate their issues rather than having a divorce trial, particularly when the issues are straightforward and involve children. To resolve issues relating to children, you should send your spouse a list of the best child psychologists and co-parent counselors. Stress the benefits of resolving disputes in a mediation or co-parenting setting rather than in a courtroom. The benefits include a substantial reduction in costs, stress, time, and the ability of your and your spouse along with a professional to create a parenting plan that works for your particular situation and serve the chidlren’s best interests. A judge, by contrast, simply does not know your family as you and your spouse do. So, work on getting your spouse in mediation and/or co-parenting counseling rather than high conflict divorce litigation.