If Facebook or other social media is a big part of your spouse's life, it may not be unusual to see him or her posting frequently, sharing pictures and updating statuses throughout the day. In fact, it may be a source of contention if your spouse seems to be on the computer or staring at a phone more often than spending time in conversation with you. Perhaps most upsetting is your spouse reconnecting with an old romantic partner through social media, and you suspect they are more than friends.
It is a common story these days. Social media interferes with more and more marriages, often leading to divorce. However, it doesn't stop there. More divorcing spouses are using their partner's social media presence to gain an advantage during divorce and custody battles. You may find that your spouse's posts can help you.
When privacy is not so private
Many social media users seem to believe they can do what they want online without any consequences in the real world. For example, if your spouse is sharing intimate conversations with an old flame, he or she may not see this as cheating since they never meet in person. On the other hand, if either of them posts pictures of the two of them together in a romantic setting, this may go a long way toward fulfilling Virginia's requirement to prove adultery. Other evidence may include the following:
- A suspicious change in your spouse's status from "married" to "single"
- Posts that contradict your spouse's claims of being on a business trip
- Posts or pictures that suggest your spouse was engaged in inappropriate behavior while supposedly caring for the children
- Posts or pictures of purchases, trips or other expenses that contradict your spouse's financial disclosures
- Posts about a financial windfall, such as a bonus, raise or side business, that your spouse did not tell you about
Even if your spouse keeps his or her Facebook page private from you, there are ways to see what he or she posts. For example, if a friend shares or likes your spouse's posts, you may be able to see those posts through your friend's page.
However, you should never secretly access your spouse's social media accounts. You may be violating privacy laws. It is best to seek the help of a legal professional who will have resources to acquire that information lawfully and use it to your advantage in court.