Your former spouse or the other parent is engaged in a harassing email campaign sending you offensive, obnoxious, and hateful messages, and undermining you as a parent What should you do? How should you respond?
Out of anger, some respond in a less than a civil manner.
Others will not respond at all.
Do not take either approach.
Remember, assume everything you put in writing or even say over the phone or in person to your ex, will be seen or heard by a judge. Also, save all correspondence.
You and your ex-spouse are going to have to continue raising your children and will have contact with the other for years after the kids have left the house. You will need to collaborate and be consistent in parenting decisions.
Consider a different approach. Take the high road. Respond to disagreeable correspondence from your ex-spouse by suggesting that the two of you hire a mediator or co parent counselor to work on methods of improving communications. Get the names of co-parenting counselors or child-oriented mediators, interview them, ask about costs, availability, their approaches and experience in high conflict cases, what they would do in your case. Determine which of these co parent counselors you have the best rapport.
Then, send your ex-spouse the list of your favorite co-parent counselors and ask your ex-spouse to contact these co-parent counselors to see with whom they feel most comfortable. Then schedule a meeting with the counselor and your ex-spouse.
If your ex-spouse agrees to go to a co-parent counselor, you will be able to work on more effective communication which will benefit your kids.
On the other hand, if your ex-spouse rejects your efforts, then he/she will show that they are not willing to work and co-parent with you. This could lead to your obtaining sole legal decision making authority over child related issues, given the other parent’s wholesale refusal to work collaboratively and co-parent in the best interests of the children.
